Waiting is really hard

What can I do to persuade You to come to my aid today?

Nothing. It is Your choice and Yours alone.

You sent me some encouragement this week …
Glimpses of You in the forest.

Still the daily decisions weigh me down …

You have not let me fall
though I feel very close to the edge.

I’m frozen again.
Waiting is really hard.

January 13, 2011

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You Are Able

O Lord, You know my heart.
You know my needs and the failings of my reason.

You know the reality of my motives
and the loneliness of my existence.

And You have chosen to bring me through another restless night.

How long will You wait to send the aid I request?
Will You help me?

I have no doubt that You are able.

January 8, 2011

How will I make it?

I usually love the New Year
because it is a chance for renewal – beginning again.

Things are in such a mess this year that I’m afraid.
Some days more so than others.
But You know that.

I look around me and see chaos.
At least in terms of the part for which I am responsible.

How will I make it?
Do You mean for me to prosper?

Only You know the plans You have for me.
If you do not intervene, I will fail at this.

What else can I do?
I am too old to …

Too old.
How many before me have made that objection?

I know – without any doubt – that
nothing is impossible for You.

You have spoken to me in the past.
Speak to me again.
I’m listening.

January 1, 2011

Introduction

As an official Late-Bloomer, I spent a lot of years in survival mode. Struggling through college as a single mom. Then grad school and building a business.

I talked to God a lot.
But I wasn’t sure He was listening.
And I couldn’t remember hearing His voice.

And I desperately needed to hear His voice.

Blame it on the Zeitgeist

My counseling practice launched when I got my Psychology License.
October 2007. Several of my clients were in real estate.
Most were small business owners.

Economic issues hit them. Then me.

Teaching kept me going financially.
But working in three cities got to be too much.
So in May 2010 I left teaching to pursue my One True Passion.

Faith or Foolishness? Poor timing.

Blame it on My One True Passion

During my post-doctoral work,
I developed a passion for
helping Couples.

As a twice-divorced woman,
no church wanted me to be
their marriage expert.

So far, it hasn’t seemed to matter that The Lord gave me a Passion to fight divorce in Orange County. Because – as you can see – very little has worked in my favor in fulfilling that desire.

So I’ve been tempted to reinvent myself – my calling. But my Passion is so deeply ingrained in who I am that I have no idea where to begin.

So I wait.

And I listen.

This book is about that process.
Excerpts from my journal.

WHISPERS IN THE DESERT
hearing God’s voice in the lonely spaces

The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. (John 10:2-4)

You are Everything to me

Sunday. Indeed I have had the same struggles all my life. Loneliness and poverty have been my constant companions. I’ve welcomed them without know what I was doing. They are gone now. Banished from my presence by Your Holy Spirit. I welcome You. You have spoken, and I am listening.

So much has happened in the last 3 years!

The trials have strengthened my faith, and I have learned so much about Your unfailing love.

It’s time. the process has begun. This is a great and amazing time of my life. You have prepared me for something bigger than I could ever have imagined! Now we’re just “tweaking” a few more things …

I love walking with You. You are Everything to me, and You are fulfilling the desires of my heart. Let my words reflect the Truth of Heaven – that I am Your beloved.

Thank You for my delightful inheritance! I am stepping into it. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.

Thank You for my recent pruning. Continue to cleanse me and make me ready …

February 23, 2014

My Answer is “Yes”

All you have to do is ask. The answer will come quickly. My answer is always “yes.” Ask Me.

Do not turn to false gods.

You are righteous because I have put you into Jesus.

Everything is yours. You are no long in survival mode. Walk into the land I have given you.

The giants you face are nothing.
Fix your eyes upon Me.

Thank You for another Training Day and the favor that came with it. I remind myself that I am on a journey with You.

The Mission and the Message You have given to me also come with great blessings …

Would You like to have a Couples Center in the OC? That idea came to me several years ago. It must have been Yours! How cool it will be to watch You make it happen. I’ll partner with You. It’s a project that’s far beyond my skill set at this point. So You’ll either grow me into it or bring experts to make it happen. You know my own heart’s desire. Thank you that I have it!

February 24, 2014
Monday

The Tenderness of God’s Grace

The Glory of God is that He is Good.
In everything that happens.
Every day. All the time.
He is My Joy.

His arms are waiting to comfort me tenderly when life hurts.
His whispers keep reassuring me when all seems lost.
His tender heart is always listening to mine.
He is My Safe Place.

He never yells at me when I mess up.
Never attacks or criticizes me.
Never blames or shames.
Never leaves me.

Instead He eagerly waits for me.
He encourages me with tender words.
He renews me with His Great Love in Jesus.
He delights in giving me the desires of my heart.

And I want to be just like Him.

 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

February 23, 2016